everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
