yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
A bitchslap is in order.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
