pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
