Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
