god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
