so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
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