just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
