why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
