He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
