the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
