So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
