He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
