i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
