Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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