3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This is the high leading the old right now
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
