He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
