He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
