Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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