it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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