Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
