I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
