That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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