I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
