She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
