remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize