if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
