So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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