Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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