oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
and she was petting her beer can
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
