I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
how does that bad decision feel?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
