I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
