oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
