I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
