Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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