Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
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