i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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