Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
