I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
