thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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