i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
