Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my being single is dangerous.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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