I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
