Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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