And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize