I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Acid is not a monday night drug
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
