you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
