Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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