I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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