More tranny stories later!
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm at about main and main street
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
