The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My bed smells like the plague
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
