Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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