This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
