My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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