I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
