I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
