My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
