There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
