TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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