we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
