Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
