I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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