Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Can you bring me the toilet please
did you just send me my own nude
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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