I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
