Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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