Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
