Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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