Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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