you're like a bully in the Christmas story
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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