I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
