I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
