so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
