Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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