Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
this is an emotional support booty call
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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