when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
