Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize